Why so serious? ( Actually Why not so serious)

Sarath: Dude i lost my watch today. It was worth 5000 bucks.( Sarath my friend, about whom i have mentioned in a previous blog as well, said with a disgusted look)

Me: Oh Shit!!! " ab bahut time waste hoga na tera " ( i said with an infants smile in me)

Sarath did not understand if he should laugh or cry for that reply.

But thats me. I always have this habit of cracking bullshit jokes especially during serious moments.But it is majorly due to my parallel brain which keeps commenting on every aspect of life, every second, which comes with such wise cracks during the most difficult times.

I still remember one conversation with a friend of mine post the attack on Taj and Trident last year, by the terrorists.

I was at Bangalore when this thing happened and my friend who was in Mumbai sent a chat message to me when these events were happening.

RK: Man,,,you know the news?

Me: what?? you put papers? ( This was the only news according to me then)

RK: Not that.....there has been a terror seige in Taj and Trident hotels....many people have been kinda taken hostage. And worst is that they are burning the hotel from inside.

Me: Thats bad,,,,,but would Taj have cut the price of their dishes for today? post this?

There was a 5 minute gap when he did not reply ( may be he must be cursing me, or would be cursing himself for having said this to me or whatever)
post that he came back

RK: You are a piece of Shit.
(and he went offline)

I know that was kinda harsh. I know there has to be some perfect time to crack jokes, but this is the problem with having a parallel brain.
This phenomenon has been in me since childhood, even before i knew this was wrong or stupid.
The other day i was just thinking of how this phenomenon played role in my life and saw that every time i was punished in my school or picked up fight with friends was majorly because of this cruel thing in me.

Also i understood that i never discriminate between anyone while giving back such replies. There was a time when i used to crack such spoilers on my teachers, elderly relatives, nehibours, Boss even God at times .
But somehow this has been brought under good control by me in the past 2 years.

As many people think of , even i had decided to go slow on such wise cracks post my college, ie when i enter the corporate life.

So it was the first day in the coaching classes where i was supposed to teach mathematics.(I think,most of you guys know i started my career as a teacher in a local coaching class)

The owner of this coaching class came to me before my first lecture and gave me a piece of advice.
"Sir, this is your first lecture today.As i hope you will , i know you will, help this class grow by teaching relegiously. From the feedback i have got about you, i know you are good at studies and also teaching
(Ha...now my parallel brain started to work......"who did you ask to Mister??....i am pretty sure all the people who gave a feedback about you to me , told me you take feedback from all the wrong people..ha! my parallel brain started telling my normal brain)
"Always remember", the owner continued, "first impression is the best and the last impression....so go and give your best performance today................and remember one more thing" he said with a firm voice now " Do not crack jokes on your first day of teaching..... the students will start treating you like a friend of theirs"

Now that was a mindblowing dialouge...much smaller than ShahRukh khan's 20min motivational speech before the women's hockey team, but the last statement was the only one which stayed back in my mind.
Even while walking into the class, my parallel brain started telling me.....hey did he take feedback from the right people about you that he said the last statement ( Shut up brain......your job is not to ask me questions.....your job is to find answers for me....i told my brain and walked into the classroom)

I recited that i should be a bit serious and walked in to the class room.

After customary introduction with each of the students, i scribbled the name of the chapter on the blackboard.
When i heard " Sir , excuse me, can i come in"

In a second i understood it was a student, in the next second i understood he was late, in the third second i understood he was late by 7 mins.

So this was oppurtunity for me to show that i was a "Serious" prof and hence asked him to walk in and have a seat.I introduced myself to him and he to me. Then i like a practiced principal closed the book and turned to the class and said.
"See students, i am very, very strict when it comes to the start of my lecture here. Someone walks a couple of mins late he not only looses his time but also distracts the flow of the lecture by a few more minutes.
( Yes, you are sounding like a strict prof dude, said my brain)

From now on, no one enters my lecture late...if you are 2 mins late, you are 58 mins early for the next lecture...getting me?
(Nice one new prof, my brain said)

So set your watches to match that of mine and you should be here at the time specified for tomorrow for my lecture..am i clear, i asked with a stiff face.

"Sir but we dont have maths lecture tomorrow" said one of the students and the whole class started to giggle slowly on the reply.

"So what friend, neither do i have my watch today" i said and the whole class started to laugh wildly.

I know it was a wise crack but totally unwarranted for the situation.But thats how my career began.
I can just go on with such instances in my life....but unfortunately i have to start working on the new report which i started today.
(Dont lie....tell the truth you have to go for lunch)
....ooh dont read the previous line, it was my parallel brains work.